A New Addition
by runawaylover29
Summary: How will a new addition change Ryan's feelings about his place with the Cohens? DISCLAIMER: I don't own jack!


Ryan fidgeted nervously in the waiting room chair.  
  
"Dude," said Seth. "What is with you?"  
  
"Nothing," Ryan replied. "I just hope everything is going ok."  
  
"I'm sure it's fine. I mean, not that I want to know details or anything, but I'm sure everything is fine."  
  
"Seth, you and Summer have sex all the time. I don't get why this whole baby thing freaks you out so much."  
  
"Yes, Summer and I do have sex all the time Ryan, but." Seth stopped and smiled to himself. "Oh, what were we talking about?" Ryan shot him a sideways glance. "Right, el bebe. See Ryan, this baby is going to be living, breathing proof that our parents have sex. And who wants to think about that? I don't, that's for sure."  
  
"Where did you think they got you, the comic book store?"  
  
"Absolutely. First edition, mint condition. My value appreciates over time."  
  
Ryan chuckled softly and leaned back in the chair. Kirsten had gone into labor nearly four hours ago. Although he knew babies weren't born instantly the way it seemed on TV, he didn't know the waiting would be this bad.  
  
He thought back to the day when Sandy and Kirsten had happily announced the new addition to the family. Seth's first reaction had been, "Wait. So I'm going to be 18 years older than my little brother or sister? That's just weird."  
  
"Well thank you, Seth, for that enlightening comment. Your in-depth mathematical analysis just made us feel really, really old."  
  
"Hey, anything I can do to help."  
  
Still smiling, Kirsten turned to Ryan and laid a gentle hand on his arm. "So we still haven't heard what you think of this new development."  
  
Ryan looked at Sandy and Kirsten, their wide smiles the perfect expression of the joy he knew they were feeling, and couldn't help smiling himself. "I think it's great. I'm really happy for you guys."  
  
"Not just for Kirsten and I!" Sandy exclaimed. "All of us Cohens are going to have our worlds turned upside down in just over 7 months. You boys will have to prepare to share some of our attention!"  
  
"All right!" exclaimed Seth. "You're gonna leave us alone for our senior year!" "You should be so lucky," answered Kirsten. "There's going be a lot to do around here this summer. We have to build a nursery, baby-proof everything.."  
  
"Great, so you use us as labor until the little bundle of joy arrives, and then ignore us! Love you too, Mom."  
  
"Didn't you just say you wanted us to leave you alone?"  
  
"Yeah, but I meant...whatever. I cannot believe you guys are having a kid. We are way too old for this!"  
  
Seth's had continued to feign his sarcasm and disgust for most of the summer, but Ryan could tell he was secretly intrigued by the prospect of a new family member. But it still didn't stop him from protesting every time Kirsten tried to get him to do something baby-related around the house. Ryan, who was interning with one of the architects that the Newport Group used, was just the opposite. He was always willing to move furniture around in the upstairs bedrooms, or drive Kirsten around on her errands after work.. The day they had found out the baby would be a girl, Kirsten insisted that they go to the Home Depot and pick out the perfect shade of pink paint for the nursery. Seth moaned and groaned and refused to come along, but Ryan went and nodded at every different swatch she held up, despite the fact that he could see no difference between tea rose and frosted rose. Ryan would never admit it, but he liked accompanying Kirsten on these trips. They would discuss what he had done at the office that day, and Kirsten would happily babble about names and decorations for the nursery. He felt useful, like he was doing something to earn his place in the Cohen family. Somewhere deep inside, he worried that with a new baby coming, they wouldn't want two extra people to take care of. So he helped put together the crib, and paint the room, and made dinner most nights. He hoped they would notice.  
  
Ryan remembered the day he had walked into the kitchen from the den while he and Seth were playing video games. Kirsten had been standing by the sink with both hands on her growing belly, looking down. On her face, Ryan had seen the most pure look of joy and love he had ever known. He was so overcome with emotion that he stood frozen there, just watching her. When she looked up, he looked away, embarrassed.  
  
"Ryan," she said, smiling. "Come here for a second."  
  
"Sorry, I, uh, just came to get some more juice."  
  
"No, no, it's ok. But come here for a second."  
  
Ryan carefully approached her. Despite all the time they had been spending together, he was still a little uneasy around her, especially now that she was getting bigger. He had never really been around someone who was pregnant before. Well, there had been Theresa's friend Rosalie, but she didn't really count. Besides the fact that she was fifteen, all she ever did was bitch about how Arturro's friend Mike had ruined her figure by knocking her up. Needless to say he didn't enjoy spending much time around her. But he couldn't avoid Kirsten like he could Rosalie. So he was always on edge, not knowing what to expect.  
  
"She's kicking."  
  
"She's what?"  
  
"She's kicking! Isn't it amazing? Here, feel it."  
  
"No, no, no I don't think...."  
  
She looked up at him and smiled gently while taking his hand. "It's ok, sweetie. Here."  
  
She carefully rested Ryan's hand on her stomach, and he felt the thump, thump of the kicks.  
  
"Whoa..."  
  
"I think we have another soccer player in the family. She's already trying to impress her big brother."  
  
Kirsten looked up at him again, and smiled, a smile so full of pride and happiness that Ryan couldn't help but smile back. Big brother, he thought. It was the first time Kirsten had said the words to him. He rolled them around in his head, trying to get used to the sound of it. He sheepishly ducked his head as he said, "That was really cool. Thanks."  
  
"Ryan, I just wanted you to know, I really appreciate all the help you've given me lately. I know you'd rather be playing video games than driving me around to pick out paints and fabrics."  
  
"No, it's ok. I don't really mind. I mean, I keep busy during the day at work, and Summer and Seth are together at night usually, so it's cool."  
  
"Well, in any case, you've been really great. And I wanted to ask you something else."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well I don't know how to say this, but how would you feel about not staying in the poolhouse anymore?"  
  
When Kirsten saw the way the words hit Ryan, she immediately realized her error. He closed his hands and began to breathe faster, and took a step back. This is it, he thought, they can't deal with me and a new baby at the same time. At least he was almost 18. Then he wouldn't need legal guardians anyway. He wouldn't need anyone.  
  
"Oh no, no, no Ryan, it came out all wrong."  
  
"No, I get it. You can't.."  
  
"No Ryan sweetie, please. Look at me."  
  
Her smile was just as warm and loving as it had been a few moments ago. "I'm sorry. What I was trying to say was, we want you to move into the bedroom next to Seth's. I mean, if you want to. The baby shouldn't bother you two up there, because the nursery is right next to our room. Hopefully Seth won't pester you too much though. But we've all talked about it, and we want the whole family, together, in this house. Because it's our home. All of ours. "  
  
"It's ok, I mean, I'm fine with the poolhouse. Really. It's got everything I need. Unless you want me to move in here so I can keep an eye on the baby sometimes."  
  
Kirsten paused for a moment. "Ryan," she began, placing a hand on his arm. "Since you came to live here, you've done so much for us. But when I say that, I don't mean just helping me with the nursery, or cooking dinner, or taking out the garbage. You're one of the best things that's ever happened to this family. You've changed us, made us all better somehow. You're a part of this family. Forever. And that's why we want you to move into the house, so that we can all be together as a family. Not because we need you to help, because we want you to be here."  
  
Ryan took a deep breath and finally looked up at Kirsten. She had said the word "forever". Ryan had never thought of family as forever. He didn't really think of anything in his life as being "forever". And part of him didn't want to believe Kirsten. That part of him said that forever was just a word, and that it didn't mean anything, even when one of the Cohens said it. It had never meant anything when his mother said it. But another part of him, deep inside him somewhere, took the word and held on to it. That part believed that this new life would last forever, that he would always have a place with the Cohens. It was that part of him that said, "I want to be here too, in the house." He swallowed hard to get the words out. "With my family."  
  
Although he should have, he wasn't expecting the hug that came next. Although it was awkward because of her growing belly, Kirsten wrapped him in a tight embrace. She laughed, a beautiful, crystal clear laugh. When she let go, she looked at him and placed a gentle hand on his cheek. He was smiling now. He couldn't help it. Despite every part of his experience that told him to be skeptical, the joy in Kirsten's face, her voice and her touch reached out to him, and told him that he was safe. That he was loved.  
  
"Seth!", she called out happily. "You have a new neighbor!"  
  
Seth walked into the kitchen and slapped Ryan on the back. "Dude, this is sweet. Now you can do your brooding right next door to me."  
  
"Yeah, it'll be cool."  
  
"Tomorrow we can go to the poster store and pick you out some really cool stuff. No more of that pseudo-art like in the poolhouse."  
  
"Oh, so now you want to decorate?" asked Kirsten.  
  
"Mom, pink bunnies vs. Ramones posters. It's really no contest."  
  
"Fine, fine. Ryan, you can go ahead and decorate however you choose. We can go pick out a paint color this week."  
  
Ryan shrugged. "I'm sure whatever color it's already painted is fine."  
  
Seth said, "I don't think beige is really a good color for Ryan's room. You need something that says, 'Touch my stuff and I'll punch you.' Black says that pretty well. Or a nice, dark gray."  
  
"Well whatever Ryan wants is fine." Said Kirsten. "Do you need help moving any of your stuff from the poolhouse?"  
  
"No, you know I don't really have that much stuff. I'll do it after dinner tonight."  
  
"Perfect." Kirsten smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "It's going to be great to have you in the house."  
  
Later that night, as Ryan was shifting things into boxes that Kirsten had given to him, he remembered the look on her face as she stared at her belly. He wondered if his own mother had ever been that happy to be pregnant. If maybe, she had looked at herself when she was pregnant with Ryan, and felt the joy that Kirsten so obviously felt. He doubted it. But he pushed the thought out of his mind as he continued packing. He wasn't going to let her ruin this now. Not again, not ever. He brought the image of Kirsten's face back to the front of his mind. Suddenly, something occurred to him. He walked over to the closet next to the bar and opened it. He paused for a second to stare at what was on the top shelf. It was a backpack, the one Seth had given him after the model home fire. He had taken it to Tijuana, but hadn't used it since. Without even looking, he knew what was inside, but he sat down and opened it anyway.  
  
From the front pocket, he pulled out the envelope with the Chrismukkah picture. Inside the envelope, he had stuffed some cash left over from the Crab Shack job. He carefully put the envelope in the box with his cds and books. He reached further into the pocket and pulled out his old leather choker. He fingered it, feeling its familiar roughness against his palm. He put it back in the pocket, and his hand brushed a piece of paper inside. It was a phone number, for his mom's ex-boyfriend in Austin. He knew that the number was probably no good anyways, so he put it back. Besides, if he ever had to leave here, he wouldn't be going to Austin, he knew that for sure. He unzipped the main compartment, and the familiar smell of stale smoke greeted him. He looked at his old jacket, and then turned to look at his current black jacket hanging on the back of one of the bar chairs. The old hoodie was frayed and dirty. The one Kirsten had bought him had sharp, clean lines, and he had kept it spotlessly clean. Taking one last look at the clothes inside, he zipped the backpack closed. Ryan knew that none of this could go with him, and he didn't want it to. The things inside that backpack were dirty and damaged, and they didn't belong in that house. Maybe he was damaged too, maybe he didn't belong in the house either. But Kirsten's words, that he was wanted, that it was forever, stuck in his mind. The part of him that believed those words took a deep breath, put the backpack in the box marked "Goodwill", and shut the closet door.  
  
"Ryan, Ryan!" Seth shook him out of his reverie. He saw Sandy approaching from the delivery room. He was smiling wide, and almost running towards the boys. They stood as he reached them, and he swept them into a hug.  
  
"Come on guys! Let's go see your mom and new baby sister!"  
  
Sandy and Seth crashed through the door of Kirsten's room, and Ryan followed quietly behind. She looked exhausted, but she was smiling at them. She held a pink bundle in her arms. Seth and Ryan carefully approached the bed.  
  
"Boys, I'd like you to meet Hannah Elizabeth Cohen, your new sister. Hannah, these are your big brothers, Seth and Ryan."  
  
She tilted her arms so that they could see the baby's face. Ryan was speechless. She was so small. Her face was pink and round, and she had only a few tufts of dark blonde hair. He couldn't stop looking at her. Seth was poking at her, trying to get her to wake up. Kirsten, who had been watching Ryan, told Seth sternly, "Seth! Please. I can't believe you're already terrorizing your sister. She's only a few hours old."  
  
"It's what I do best, Mom", Seth replied.  
  
Ryan looked at Kirsten, and she smiled at him. "Ryan, do you want to hold her?"  
  
"Oh, no, I mean, I don't think I should. I don't know that much about babies."  
  
Kirsten laughed. "Well neither did Sandy and I, until we had Seth. Why don't you sit down in that chair?"  
  
"Hey, how come Ryan gets to hold her first?" Seth whined.  
  
"Seth, all of a sudden you're interested in this baby? From what I remember over the last 9 months, you were in denial that this day would actually ever come." Sandy teased.  
  
"Well, better late than never right? Fine, he can hold her, but I get my turn too." Sandy chuckled. "Great, so after 18 years we have to deal with only child syndrome. Come on Ryan, have a seat and I'll give her to you."  
  
Ryan sat nervously in the chair close to the bed. Kirsten handed the baby to Sandy, who showed Ryan how to support her head as he held her. All of a sudden, she opened her eyes and grabbed at Ryan's shirt. She yawned and wriggled in his arms.  
  
Sandy patted Ryan on the back. "Well, would you look at that! She knows you already!"  
  
Ryan smiled up at Sandy and Kirsten. "She looked at me."  
  
"You're a natural, Ryan." Kirsten reached out and touched his arm.  
  
"Hello, there is another big brother in the room! Does anyone remember me, Seth Cohen?"  
  
"Alright Seth, your turn. But I think you might have to bribe her to get her to like you as much as she does Ryan."  
  
"Oh, I think that can be arranged. Once I introduce her to the world of comics and Playstation, she won't give Mr. Soccer Player over there another thought."  
  
"Well, I guess we'll just have to see, won't we?" said Kirsten as Ryan carefully placed Hannah in her arms.  
  
The nurse walked in the room holding a Polaroid camera. "Family picture?" she asked.  
  
"Absolutely!" Sandy exclaimed.  
  
Later that afternoon, as he and Seth walked out into the bright afternoon sun, Seth began,  
  
"Maybe this little sister thing won't be so bad after all. I mean, think about it. She's basically ours to mod. You can teach her how to play soccer and punch people, I'll teach her how to skateboard and play Playstation, Dad can teach her to surf, and Mom can teach her to coo-well, we'll find something for Mom to teach her. We'll create like, the ultra-Cohen. And I think she seems pretty cool, even though she's only 5 hours old. She's got definite potential, don't you think Ryan?"  
  
Ryan squinted at Seth for a second as he thought. Hannah could really have all of their best traits: Kirsten's gentle kindness, Sandy's passion, and Seth's sarcastic wit. But what about himself? What could he possibly have to offer this tiny new person? He glanced at the Polaroid picture in his hand. Sandy's hand was on Ryan's shoulder, and his other arm was draped around Kirsten. Seth was sitting on the other side of his mother, and Kirsten was cradling the baby in her arms. They were all smiling, even himself, which surprised him. As he looked at the photo, he suddenly knew what he would give to his baby sister. She would be loyal, and fiercely protective of her family. But most of all, she would know that she was loved. Just like her big brother.  
  
"Yeah," Ryan replied while smiling to himself. "She's awesome." 


End file.
